I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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