Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
