she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
