Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
