She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
worst night to have a conscience
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
