I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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