I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
