Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
