She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
