I wanna bring you to show and tell
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
