No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
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