Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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