): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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