I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
