I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
