i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
