drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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