Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she smelled like a LAN party
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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