my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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