I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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