im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
