Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
