his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
