i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
