Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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