Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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