He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
