Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
