Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
