well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
