You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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