The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
