Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
