My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
