I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
