If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm bleeding and have questions
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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