Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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