I showed him my bush... on skype.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
