I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Still dying that you shit outside
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
