"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
