I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
not ubering you a puppy
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
