If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
