oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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