I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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