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We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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