I'm laying in your front yard are you home
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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