haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
