somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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