I must be too annoying 4 u.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
