I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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