Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
